Whether the leaders I am working with are in global finance, government legal services or international human rights, they all seem to hit an uncomfortable moment when it comes to the ‘cultivating stillness” phase in becoming more effective leaders.
It is hard, awkward and they certainly have NO TIME at all for this, they tell me. And, at the same time, they ask me ‘how do I do this right in the middle of the day, or the tough negotiation?’ Many wonder what good it will do anyhow.
Well, I say, if you go into a gym to lift weights for the first time, beginning with 150 pounds, 68kg, you could well hurt yourself. Likewise, none of us can expect to create or access an internal state of spaciousness and quietness right in the midst of challenge, if we have not built the muscles and commitment to do so in calmer every-day situations.
I am reminded of Kennedy, a West-African Director in a large international NGO, who told me how he cultivates his stillness practice during a workday.
“I do not take my afternoon coffee in the office; I go out, walk to a local place about 10 minutes away and have my coffee there, alone. One day my secretary got quite upset with me saying, ‘Why don’t you have coffee here with everyone else. You do not have to leave the office and everyone wonders why you do not want to be with us!’ I replied to her that it actually had nothing to do with coffee at all and certainly nothing to do with avoiding my staff. It is my way to clear my head, to breathe deep, to get fresh thoughts, to get out of my regular routine. She had no idea that this was what I was really doing and I continue this today.”
But wait…Kennedy was not actually being ‘still.’ That is OK, for now. Why so?
When we begin this practice, it is helpful to focus on ‘cultivating.’ As such, we must prepare our own ground as in a garden when we pull the weeds since, honestly, being still and quiet is an unusual behavior today, unless we are asleep or not feeling well! We have to commit to a garden or the plants will not survive and in nourishing a stillness practice we have to stick around, in good times and bad…when we have all kinds of excuses not to practice just as much as when we cannot wait for a pause.
What we are cultivating is, of course, internal stillness and quiet. It has not much to do with whether or not we are actually physically still as the powerful practices of walking meditation or more meditative yoga makes clear. We all know that we can be perfectly still physically and we can be thinking at great speed.
Overall, to truly ‘cultivate’ stillness is an active process of exploring what works for each of us then committing and practicing. And what about the outcomes? How about a growing experience of peacefulness and ease together with receiving new and surprising ideas? Will that do, on the run?